Tag Archives: life

Let me thought vomit for a minute.

Recent events have had my brain stewing on this one. I’ve been just as guilty of this in the past too, which is part of why it’s bothering me.

Why is it that when someone dies, we choose to focus on only the best about them? I’m not complaining. It’s a good thing. But I picture the deceased person on the other side (wherever that is) saying… “Aww, that’s sweet. Why the hell couldn’t you rave about me like that when I was alive?” 

Why do we think it’s okay to nitpick others’ behavior and actions instead of seeing the best in them at all times? As if we have every duck perfectly lined up & have never made any mistakes. No one is perfect, we all have our flaws, we are all on different paths and even on the same path, we all move at different speeds & learning curves! We all supposedly know this and want to be treated as such… So wouldn’t it be a much happier & peaceful life spent if we chose only to see the best in people? Negativity breeds negativity, but positivity has the same effect.. and a much more pleasant one!

I know I personally perform better when I’m being praised vs. criticized. I promise you, I am the hardest on myself & critique myself enough as it is without others piling it on for me. (Let me take a sidestep and add: I’m not talking about abusive behavior or not calling others out when they’re in a situation where intervention is necessary. I’m purely speaking in general terms.)

We gossip about family members, friends, acquaintances and strangers (this is a big one!) about their appearance, life choices, LOVE choices, finances, what have you. Unless it directly affects you, what business is it of yours? I mean, really! Ask yourself… “Does this harm me or someone I love? Why do I feel the need to express my opinion about this?” I promise you that the opinions you put out there only reflect negatively on YOU, not the person you’re so focused on. If we simply focused on bettering ourselves & being kind to those around us, our world view would instantly improve.

Everyone needs love & understanding. We never know what battles someone is facing. Usually the people who appear the strongest have the thickest mask on. I’ve also discovered in working with the public that the people that seem the most hateful usually need the MOST kindness. Think about that one for a minute.

Human life is so fragile. Everyone has emotions. Be kind… especially to the ones closest to you. Everyone has their own shit going on.

Thank you for reading, humans.



An extrovert (me) living with an introvert (him)

I ran across this graphic on Facebook today. It was a complete “aha” moment for me. Yes I have always known my husband was introverted. But as an extrovert… it’s not easy to truly “get” it. This graphic is perfect though and gave me a lot of clarity! If you haven’t seen it, and especially if you are an extrovert that lives with an introvert, check it out!

And to my husband: I’m sorry I have this ability to wear you out and “steal” your energy! I will be way more mindful of this in the future. Love you so much! 😀

Random brain thingies.

We had a really good weekend here at the Harley household. Mike worked off and on, since the SharePoint upgrade is just a week old, there are still lots of things to clean up. We took a little trip to REI so he could get some much needed cooler/cold-weather gear for his bike rides/commute. Then we stopped at Sweet CeCe’s for a treat before heading home. Tyler also had to work his new job at the mall (Old Navy) which he is enjoying a lot. That job practically landed in his lap. The boy is so lucky when it comes to jobs! Mike wanted to go for a bike ride around town, so he did. 24 miles round trip. It’ll be nice when we move closer to the parts we like to hang around in town so that trip isn’t so daunting. I’d go with him, but just from here to Percy Warner Park wears me out, let alone going down to 12 South, etc. Since I’m on chemo, my energy level is super low… even when I do feel up to a bike ride, I run out of gas quickly. Mike is so patient to let me rest whenever I need to. It’s super encouraging.  I’m really looking forward to biking with him more when I’m done with chemo & get my energy back. The bike rides we took before were really fun, even when we were just doing the B-Cycle rentals.

Saturday evening, we took the boys with us to see a movie. Damn. That won’t be happening a lot.. after tickets and snacks, we spent close to $80. But it was nice to get out of the house. We saw Ender’s Game. Mike owns the book & read it awhile back. Tyler started to read it but didn’t get far, but he was wanting to see the movie regardless. Hunter had to read it as part of his freshman seminar class, and I’d seen the previews so we were all looking forward to watching it. I figured with Hunter having just finished the book that day, he’d have high expectations of the movie, which he did. I sat next to him and the ENTIRE time he was critiquing it. Poor kid.. ha! Not that it wasn’t a good sci-fi flick. It was. Lesson learned about the differences in movies vs. books

I’ve been struggling in my brain lately with the fact that I can’t do what I want right now. Here we are, Living in a new town and I want to jump in, explore & become part of the community, but I’m supposed to rest, heal, taking care of myself, and on top of all that, not work. I know it’s only for a season, but it still bums me out at times. On one hand, the break from that busy schedule is really good for me. On the other, it makes me feel so useless. I feel like such a shell of my former self lately. I’m happy to be here in Nashville, don’t get me wrong. I just feel… disconnected. Out of the loop. Lame.  I want to do all the things…. I want to be working again &  build up a clientele here in Nashville. I want to attend community events & feel a part of this wonderful vibrant city we love so much. It just has to be put on pause right now. I need to be okay with this and just chill out. *sigh*

I am keeping myself and my brain as busy as I can though. I’ve been reading a lot lately and it’s good for me. I always go through spurts of reading/non reading. For the majority of this year I’ve been a non reader, but now with all this downtime, I am filling more of my days with it. In the last 2 months, I’ve read 2 books about thru-hiking long trails, and 2 memoirs about battling cancer. Before that was another fiction book, but it was one that forced you to think on what’s being said, so it was slow going.  I’m ready to move back into the less-thought-required fiction realm and read something I call “brain candy”.

Speaking of candy, I’ve been dabbling a little with the well known addictive game Candy Crush, and it hasn’t driven me mad, but I’m resigned to the fact that I won’t get to levels 100 and up. Heck, I can’t get past #29. That game is so rigged, and I refuse to pay for extra lives or special powers. It also gives me a hankerin’ for some hard candy. #Random

I finally made an appointment for Mike to get into a dentist. Let’s hope we like this one. I hate shopping for new dentists!

There you have it: a blog post where I don’t just talk about cancer treatment. It’s become a huge part of my life as of late, so I can’t help it. I look forward to days where I talk more about things we’re a part of. OH! Speaking of which, I really really want to be a part of Help Portrait again this year, the Nashville edition. Being a part of the inaugural Crossville event was really enjoyable, especially being a part of the leadership team and in charge of the hair and makeup crew. If I volunteer this year, it’d be something simple like greeting/check-in or the like.  I’m debating on whether I should even do that much though… working with the general public and all the germs while on chemo. Eh. This is where being a cancer patient and being a social-want-to-help-people-person sucks.